Praise the pumpkin gods

I am the Pumpkin Queen. I have a bit of a love affair with all things pumpkin and have made it my goal to try as many pumpkin spice-related things this season and in all the autumns as long as I live. "There's nothing unique about that," you say. And you're right. It's not. But I'm not in the business of giving all that many fucks. So sit back and read and then get your ass out there and praise the pumpkin gods for these glorious gifts.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Pepperidge Farm Pumpkin Spice bread






2/10 I had high hopes for this bread because of how good it smelled when I took a couple slices out of the package to toast for breakfast. It smelled highly of cinnamon but toasting it rendered it almost tasteless and non distinguishable from regular cinnamon bread.

Monday, September 7, 2015

Entenmann's Pumpkin Donuts



6/10 Upon first sniff I became excited to bite into one of these because it smelled like pumpkin spice. I tore a piece off and the cake wasn't crumbly at all. Pleased with this discovery I continued to eat it, drawn in by the sweetness of the glaze most of all. This was just like any glazed donut but as my boyfriend put it, "I can taste the lingering pumpkin spices after I had the whole thing." Which is a pretty good thing for something labeled as "pumpkin." At least it wasn't tasteless. I took points off because the sweetness of the glaze overpowered the pumpkin spices. But all in all, a tasty treat I would recommend.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Brookyln Brand Post Road Pumpkin Ale

8/10 To awaken this new season of all things pumpkin, I introduce to you sumthing of great importance to me; beer, but not just any beer, PUMPKIN BEER. Now I won't lie, pumpkin beer has never been a favorite of mine. It lacks the potent hops and malt flavor that I savor from an IPA, but when I bought a 6-pack of this on a whim (while we are being completely honest, they were out of my usual choice, and I settled with this), I brought it home and was delightfully surprised.There were notes of the hops that I thrive for, as well as notes of nutmeg and cinnamon that make pumpkin spice, well, PUMPKIN SPICE that I've never tasted so far in a pumpkin ale. At a 5% ABV, it served as an adequate thirst-quencher and offers a satisfying pumpkin spice flavor for those so inclined. The first sip is heavy, full of hops and malt. Seconds later it fades and opens up a world of cinnamon and nutmeg onto your tastebuds. The aftermath of the first sip leaves you satisfied and delighted in your pumpkin spice purchase. You won't be disappointed.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Nestle Toll House Pumpkin Spice Cookies


10/10 Amazing. The amount of spice I taste is more than I expected from these. The package says real Libby's pumpkin is used in the dough. You can sort of taste it (not as much as you can taste the Libby's pumpkin I use in my oatmeal). Still delicious nonetheless. What really wins me over are the white chocolate morsels. They add a nice, satisfying touch.

North Star Pumpkin Spice Ice Cream Sandwiches


7/10 I have never even heard of this brand. Who cares? It's pumpkin spice! That said, I was impressed with how these tasted. There wasn't much pumpkin and only a little of the spices, but all in all it was a tasty ice cream sandwich.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Bubba Rose Pumpkin Spice Breakable Training Treat


10/10 This is a dog biscuit. No, I did not eat it. My dog wanted me to post this review. I'll have to translate from dog language to human English:

This was such a delicious treat. It smelled like a human cookie. My human broke off small chunks for me but I was looking for more! I LOVE THIS BISCUIT. ALL HUMANS MUST GIVE THEIR DOGS THIS BISCUIT.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Trident Layers Pumpkin Spice gum


6/10 A few things went through my mind when I discovered this:

  1. Pumpkin spice....GUM?! wtf?
  2. It could taste good, I guess.
  3. Whatever, it's pumpkin spice and I have to try it.

So I did. And it was weird. I imagined I was in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory and instead of the scene where Violet eats the gum before she blows up into a big blueberry it was me eating this gum. I think I would have turned into a giant pumpkin pie if the flavor didn't fade so quickly.